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These surveys which lay out the “acceptable” or “preferred” age gap are a bit useless unless you take into account the age of the person. For example, for a pair of teenagers, a 1 year age gap could make a big difference in maturity and life focus.
With a 60 year old man, 10 years hardly seems like a big age gap.
In fact, the idea that older men are more financially stable is flawed.
As The Frisky points out, an older man might make more money, but he probably has to pay alimony, child support, college tuition for his other kids, and stash away some cash for his imminent nursing care.
My best friend was 14 when she fell in love with a 21 year old. My friend's older boyfriend was close with a guy I'll call T. My mother, spying him from the front window, asked me how old he was.
I was the oracle, remembering each detail from my supporting role. I remember how quiet it was, birds soaring overhead, no other sound. We had gotten in the habit of him driving me home, and my suddenly wanting to make different arrangements seemed to inconvenience everyone. He stopped the car with a jerk, right past the top of my driveway, and I grabbed the door handle and got out. For many years afterward, I took total blame for everything that happened between me and T. It was with this in mind that I began my narrator Sydney's story in . Like me and Sydney, she will most likely yearn for attention at one point or another. But how can I teach her that it is just as OK to need that scrutiny to stop?
There was safety in the shadows, but also a kind of darkness. Even worse, I couldn't say why I didn't want to go with him.
That’s hardly reflects the increasing age gap preference! As Psychology Today points out, women today have more career choices and are getting closer to equal pay, which means they are feeling less pressured to get married in order to achieve stability.
The increase use of fertility treatments also probably has something to do with it too, since women don’t feel as pressured by the tick-tock of their biological clocks to have children. It might have to do with the fact that many divorced men have children and alimonies to pay, something which younger women might tolerate better than a woman in the man’s own age bracket.